Dear Diary,
I was trying to remember happier times today. I remember a time when we didn’t have to live in fear. Our king took this land and made it something we Danes could be proud of. It’s almost as if I can still hear the bards’ songs echoing in the great mead-hall… but then he comes; that wretched scum of Cain. His anger grew from the sound of our revelries. He snuck in one night as we all slept, drunk from mead. And he slaughtered them. The horror of it still shakes me today. Over thirty of my country men, slaughtered. It’s been over a decade since this beast, this Grendel, first visited us. And still I and my countrymen live in constant fear of this sinful monster. I know I am a great warrior, but it has become apparent that I am no match for this creature. I wish there was something I could do to stop this evil force, but I simply cannot defeat it. None of our offerings have done us any good. We must slay it. It causes me great shame that my people must live in terror. I don’t know what it is we shall do.
Dear Diary,
A stranger arrived on our shores and you would not believe his arrogance. First he comes charging onto our shores with him and his crew of fourteen men dressed as if they’re ready to battle. Apparently the king and this guy’s father were friends. He announces himself as Beowulf son of Ecgtheow. I’ve heard of him before. He lost in a swimming match between this other Geat Breca. He says he comes here to help us with Grendel, so right away I knew he was not a worthy warrior. And to make things worse King Hrothgar decides to throw a massive feast in the mead hall in honor of this unproven traveler. I watch this, perhaps indulge a little more than I had intended then I hear Beowulf boasting of his triumphs and I’ve had enough. I finally have to say something. I look right at him and I tell everyone about how he lost in that swimming match. He mentions something about how he fought off sea beast after sea beast day after day in the North Sea and actually tried to save Breca. And then he has the audacity to turn the tables on me. He claimed I wouldn’t have been able to survive those waters. Then he hit a particularly sore spot; he said that I’m completely helpless against Grendel. Then he brought up the whole thing with my brothers. I didn’t really know what to say. I’ve never seen a warrior boast so confidently. So I conceded defeat for the time being. Everyone went back to partying and adoring Beowulf. But honestly I’ll let Grendel decide whether I was right or not. Beowulf and his men are in the mead hall awaiting him as I write this. I don’t expect to be seeing that boastful Geat in the morning.
Dear Diary,
So… I may have been mistaken about this Beowulf. He backed up his word by taking on Grendel last night after the feast. He did what I thought was impossible with no armor or weapon at all. It was a massive battle in which much of the mead hall was disrupted. In the end only one of our men died and Beowulf managed to take from Grendel a little trophy; his arm! He ripped it right out of the socket with his bare hands. I’ve never encountered such tremendous strength. Everyone is so ecstatic about the defeated Grendel. Hrothgar promised to bestow Beowulf with generous rewards and that he sees him as a son. Beowulf didn’t seem to forget my drunken rambling last night. He called me out and said that he had proven himself. I must admit he certainly did prove himself by taking on Grendel in that manner.
Dear Diary,
Much to my dismay our peace did not last very long. While we feasted and celebrated the defeat of the miserable Grendel we were visited by another beast of equal wickedness. Grendel’s mother stormed our mead hall in vengeance for her son. She entered into the mead hall and stole back her son’s arm. Unfortunately we were unable to save Aeschere from her clutches as well. When Beowulf finally arrived it was too late. The king sent him out at once to kill this new threat to our kingdom. To be completely honest I felt a little guilty for how I had treated our friend Beowulf and so I tried to make it up to him. I lent him my trusty Hrunting. Beowulf is such a good guy that he even promised me his sword if he were to die. We went with Beowulf to the water lair of the beast. In he dove and for the longest time he did not resurface. Soon the waters ran red with blood and I and my countrymen set out for home while the Geats loyally stood watch. Not much longer after we arrived Beowulf comes marching into Heorot with the massive head of Grendel’s mother. After a banquet the following day Beowulf and his men decided they were going to go back to Geatland. Beowulf returned my sword before he left. In his stay I learned a valuable lesson about that noble hero.
I think you did a good job of incorporating the different emotions of Unferth throughout his encounters with Beowulf. I liked the way you set up the connection between the second and third entried with Unferth's doubt lingering at the end of the second entry followed by his admittance of Beowulf's stregnth at the start of the third. Also you showed how relevant Unferth's jealousy was to the relationship between him and Beowulf. I think you could have emphasized on that relationship a little bit more especially towards the end and showed that they almost banded together to show the true change of heart that Unferth had towards Beowulf.
ReplyDeleteWhat have you added to the poem here?
ReplyDeleteFrom my point of view, you aren't really adding anything. You are *describing* the events of the poem from a different point of view. In doing so, theoretically, you should help us to think about the poem in a new and different way. You'd accomplish this by adding context (elaborating the story of how of how Unferth murdered his brothers, maybe), or by deepening some aspect of a character. But are you doing that?
"I didn’t really know what to say. I’ve never seen a warrior boast so confidently. So I conceded defeat for the time being." This moment is a great example of an opportunity lost. Here's Unferth, a great warrior whose confidence has been shaken (and you do gesture and his shaken confidence earlier, which is the best moment in the piece), but who is still so bold or crazy that he practically challenges Beowulf to a duel. Beowulf's response shakes him, though, and he backs down from a moment of prospective violence.
Why? Is it because he recognizes that Beowulf is speaking the truth, and the truth changes him? Is he somehow, unaccountably, afraid? Or is he just planning on Grendel doing his dirty work for him? Any of these could be interesting developments - but you aren't developing, you're repeating what the poem says in your own words, which isn't at all the same thing.
*Explain* Unferth to us from a new angle. Don't just repeat him.