Big Fight. Anger. Slamming the door. Taking off with no intended destination. Dead of winter, icy roads. Car swerves out of control. Tries to gain control of the truck. Fail. Flipping off the road. Bad accident, and the loss of a life. Life is truly unexpected.
On December 19, 2009 about the middle of the day I received a phone call that one of my best friends had died in a car accident. At that moment, I couldn’t believe it, the only thought running through my mind was there is no possible way that it could have happened to him. I was stunned and couldn’t grasp the concept that he had died in a terrible accident. My hometown community and friends didn’t know what to do or say besides morn over the loss.
It’s been a little over a year now that my friend passed away and it has made me question my own beliefs. Death is a very controversial topic that can be debated about forever. The question involving death and where you end up when your life on earth is over is a mystery. Of course the religious aspect of either going to heaven or hell can be the main answer to the question. Until I encountered this experience, I truly never questioned my belief system. I truly think someone can’t question their beliefs until a tragic event has occurred in their life. Before this event occurred I assumed there was no particular direction in life, I believed that each individual decision that a person makes has an effect on the outcome in their future. I never really thought that maybe our lives as humans have a predestined future that is set in stone. But now I believe that there is a possibility that our lives may have a mapped out future that we do not have any control of.
This topic of our belief system has been debated about for centuries and the meaning of life and why we were created. People over time have searched for answers to the actual meaning of life on earth. Many different answers have been brought up, but the true meaning behind them may never be known. The fact that we as humans do not know the answer to these questions is very troubling to people that are in search for an answer as to why. It is hard not knowing what lies in the future of our lives, because we are unable to plan what is ahead of us. As Borges points out in The Circle Ruins, “in happiness or in mere confusion; it was only natural that the sorcerer should fear for the future…” It’s difficult not to know the future. I have felt that maybe I could have done something to change the outcome of this situation if I had know the final result. But this is not the world that we live in and you cannot prevent events from occurring if they are ultimately destined to happen.
If our lives are truly predestined then there must be a higher being who is creating that path. Its possible that we have found the true identity of this higher being but it is impossible to truly confirm it. It is also possible that we cant even begin to rap ourselves around this realm of what the higher being actually is. And maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Life is unexpected, so you cant change your pre destination. For the past year many of the events in my life have been affected by this tragic event. I have come to the point where I understand that many of the questions that have stemmed from his death will never be answered. Maybe the only time these questions may be answered is when I die or maybe not. Or maybe there isn’t a meaning behind our existence and when you die your life simply may just end.