tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785065039608350318.post8272011635623299815..comments2023-09-07T04:49:10.648-07:00Comments on Literature and the Contemporary: Wit & Sonnet XIV RevisionAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785065039608350318.post-56835006760649064802011-02-27T11:22:54.688-08:002011-02-27T11:22:54.688-08:00I feel like some of this is going to be a repetiti...I feel like some of this is going to be a repetition of my comments on your draft. Anyway, I'll try to keep the repetition brief.<br /><br />Your reading of the play's structure and Vivian's character in relationship with Sonnet #10 is worthwhile, and is something I could actually see using to help begin a discussion of the role of Donne in the play. It's compact, competent and interesting.<br /><br />The move to Sonnet #14 is less interesting. It fit into the original prompt, of course, but especially reading it in a revision, I'm unclear on what you're *doing* with it - especially since you don't seem to really want to engage the three-way connection between violence, sexuality, and the sacred which characterizes the poem. I certainly understand why you don't want to write about that, and apply it in detail to Wit - but if not, why keep it as a substantial part of the revision?<br /><br />Your closing paragraph raises the interesting (maybe slightly obvious, but interesting) point that Vivian is great with words but not so great with meanings. I like that as an *introduction*, and I want to know more about how you'd relate that to the sonnets - but if fits awkwardly, at best, as a follow-up to your discussion of sonnet 14.<br /><br />You have a bibliographical reference to a piece of research, but don't actually cite it, which is awkward.<br /><br />Short version: Your beginning is pretty strong, but you're not taking the revision as an opportunity to develop and focus upon an interesting *argument*. This is a revision which doesn't pay enough attention to the fundaments.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.com